They say the darndest things...

I've been thinking about children lately, but not in a Paula Poundstone (SCS sufferer) sort of way. I violently disagree with Bill Cosby; I don't think they say the darndest things at all. I think what they say is completely apropos.

My co-worker, Jennifer, and I were discussing this yesterday. I'm writing a bit about "Twelfth Night" for my internship at Lincoln Center, because that's one of the featured works of art they're using to instruct educators in their Summer Session. I started researching twins, because of Sebastian and Viola, and found this website obviously created by a very young twin. One of her sections was called "Stupid Questions." (At which point Jennifer and I agreed that there is definitely such a thing as a stupid question. Sometimes I think that's all there is.)

Apparently, one of the questions frequently posed to a twin is, "How do you know which one you are?" Ponder that. Repeat it to yourself of few times in place of your "I do deserve happiness!" morning mantra. The more I think about it, the more it sounds like a profound philosophical inquiry. Imagine how Descartes would respond to the child who thought of it.

All of this is to say that I propose we cancel "Kids Say The Darndest Things" and replace it with "Kids Go Head to Head With Famous Philosophers." Exhume the corpse of Nietzsche, for instance, employ a puppeteer, and have him act as the philosopher, posing some of his most intriguing theories to a 4-year-old opponent. Then the 4-year-old will respond. Or scream in terror. Either way, they'll end up traumatized by their television appearances and become a cokehead by age 12. Which means we, the viewing audience, wins.

I promise a less-psychotic, more Star Wars-oriented entry later this weekend. Ta!

-A